A talk I wasn't prepared to have.

There are no pictures with today's post. 


The other day I had a talk with my 5 year old that I definitely was not prepared to have.
No, not THAT talk, although I almost think that talk might have been easier to explain.

He asked me what happens when he dies.
He told me he didn't want to die and never come back and leave all of his friends.
At first I told him he could just stay young forever and that he didn't have to worry about it.
To which he replied, "Mom, I'll still have birthdays! I still get old."... No matter how many times I insisted he could just stay 5. He knew better.
Darn that smart child of mine.

So he pressed on and I said, "well, baby.... when you die, if you were good in life you go to Heaven."
He told me he hasn't always been good. He started panicking.
I reassured him that he's still a good kid/person and that you had to be REALLY bad, like a bad guy to not go to Heaven.
He was completely clueless.
So in the best way I could, I explained God to a 5 year old.
I told him that God made Earth and all of space and that when you die, you go to Heaven to be with God.
He said he didn't want to die and never ever see his friends or us again.
I told him we'd all go to Heaven and be waiting for him or he'd be waiting for us.
He wasn't finished with the conversation but we'd gotten to Maddie's preschool, so it just ended.
I blame Halloween and all of the R.I.P. signs he'd seen everywhere. He asked what RIP meant one day and I told him and he was just confused too.
So again, I had to explain that when people die, you put RIP up and hope that they rest in peace--poor 5 year old full of questions stuck with a momma that is just stumped when it comes to answering half of them.

We don't attend church.
David doesn't believe.
I do, I think. I believe in something. Or at least, I want to. I'm just not sure what that something is. 

This isn't meant to be a religious post, just me rambling about mom life.
But I do want to ask y'all:
How do you explain death and life to your children?
God? Heaven? Hell? What?

Let's talk about people.... part 2.

Last night I told my son that we were going to go to the indoor park tomorrow (mommy gym on base) and he was going to get to play with lots of other kids. YAY right?! WRONG! He starts CRYING. Like hysterically crying and sat on my lap and it took me a minute to calm him down so I could understand what he was saying--"i don't wanna go to the indoor park, the kids will tell me to go home". HORRIBLE right?! My poor baby!! I calmed him and told him we were going to play with new kids that were SUPER excited to play with him and that they would NEVER EVER tell him to go home and they'd always want to play with him.  Sad and calmed, I put him to bed....
Now to backtrack a bit on a story that I debated on ever bringing up (until tonight and my child's broken heart)...The other day hubby and the kids and I all went to barnes and nobles. In the back of the store, they have a little train table for kids to play on.  Well after I got my coffee, hubby went to browse so I took the kids back there to pick out a book each and to let them play while we waited on daddy.... My son rushes over to the train table, super excited to play on it.  Oh there are kids there--even more excited!!
FIVE kids (one boy, four girls), all gorgeous, blonde hair, new clothes, NICE clothes, all matching, no adult.
My son walks up to them and says, "Hi, I'm Finnie. I'm three!!"  They just stare. These kids all range like 7 and under. They ignore him.  He doesn't get discouraged, he tries to grab a train and play.  They make no room for him, they sort of block him out. I'm sitting there so proud of him for introducing himself and trying to play.  One of them picks up a train and he says "I have Hero at home" the girl just looks at him and then at me and then at him like we're stupid. He says "Hero! (points at the train in her hand) I have Hero at home".... same reaction.  Then the little boy stares whining for his sister's train--she hands it right over and just lets him win.  (He was old enough to NOT get away with whining and getting his way).  One of them start talking about the fishie thing in one of the trains and my son says "its a lobster!!" She says "I think its an octopus" (This was the youngest girl that actually interacted with him). He says "oh an octopus" in his little still learning how to say certain words voice. And then he's asking for a train--they won't share.  they ALL have more than one and are hogging these trains!! Simply refusing to share. FIVE KIDS ALL REFUSING TO SHARE!! He asks a few times if he can play, they just ignore him and block him from the train table.... He's being so polite and they are just not having it.  I just sit there, astonished and wondering where the hell their parents are and how the hell they are getting away with treating my child like this.  I read the boy's hat--something something churchy christiany something.  OH! They are THOSE kind of kids. 
Now I have NOTHING against church or God or Christians, but I DO have something against those kind of goody too shoe parents that care more about their children's appearance than their children's behavior.  And I hate stereotypes, I honestly do. But I spent years in church and in my time, I noticed the clicks and the parents that would do that with their kids--just sort of pawn them off on anyone that thought "oh a baby...how cute" and those that think appearance is more important than manners. 
People look at my husband and I and are sometimes intimidated by us--we have piercings and tattoos, we must be murders or robbers about to steal their fancy blackberry--who knows. But when it comes down to it, my children are well behaved (most of the time) and know their manners and would NEVER EVER be that rude to another child. How do you raise a CHILD to be that horrible to other children?! I do not understand!! I have never ever been so proud as a parent as I was at that moment, watching my little baby introduce himself to these kids and try to play and talk to them! He was just so sweet!! After we left, he said, "those kids broke my heart mom. they were mean to me" And I cried!! I just cried!! My poor little innocent baby getting his little heart broken because some kids were too mean?! That just does not fly!! AND WHERE THE HELL WERE THEIR PARENTS?!?!
So, I just want to say.... clothes are not more important than manners and love.
Tattoos and piercings do not mean we are going to rob you.
And a train table in the back of a book store is NOT a babysitter or guardian.
Raise your damn kids right, people!!

Again, I hope this post doesn't offend anyone, it's nothing against Christians at all, I myself am religious, my husband is not--it's just the goody too shoe people that think they are better than everyone else.
Children are the future. I would rather produce open minded, polite children than rude, whiny brats.
End rant.

Love, A.