November 03, 2020

I am stressed.

This is a really difficult post for me to even write.
I'm stressed out and that takes a LOT for me to even admit.
I don't usually talk about my stress or worries, but today I just NEED to get it out.

Finances suck.
Usually, we're pretty comfy financially. We have enough to get what we need, pay our bills and usually buy a few random things that we don't need.
Then stuff comes up....

A while back, David's truck died so we decided to get a loan and get him a motorcycle.  He's always wanted one, it was actually better than fixing the truck and we could take on the loan payment and save in gas money, no problem.
$200.
David asked if we could afford it.
I said, "yup! we can afford that! Yay motorcycle"
with a smile on my face!

Then we get a phone call saying there is a spot open for Maddie in preschool.
Hooray.
$413 a month.
David asked if we could afford this.
I said, "yup. It'll be a bit tight but yup. yay preschool!"
With a smile on my face.


Really tight financially. REALLY tight.
Bills are paid, we have food.
I actually stuck to a meal plan and grocery list. I didn't add extra stuff in last minute like I usually do.
But you guys, we are hurting.
It's awful.
It's frustrating.
Owen's birthday is this month.
Christmas next.
We have no spare money.
I know Owen's too little to really care and thankfully I'd bought a few Christmas presents already, so I'm not too worried about it.

Now I know we could just pull Maddie from preschool but if you knew Maddie, you would understand why it would just kill me to do so.
She NEEDS preschool.
She needs the socialization. She needs the discipline and the routine.
She needs to feel special and needs to have this for herself.
But then we find out we were still getting BAH (rent money basically) for Alaska.
That's $700 more than what BAH is for Georgia.
Not our mistake, but come to find out we might have to pay it back.
That's $1400 we have to pay back.
And then David tells me that they technically can issue a "No pay due" and just take our check.
Fuck my life.
I am hardcore trying to not freak out.
But I am.
It's frustrating.
It's awful.
I just needed to vent.
I know that it'll all work out.
It always does.
But until then.
Oh my gosh.
Frustrated.
Stressed out.
Grumpy.
Blah.
Anxious.

As if money wasn't tight enough, this mistake made by the people here at Ft Benning that
in-processed David could cost us either monthly payments or a one giant lump sum.
Arg.
Just shoot me now.
The not knowing of it is killing me.
I don't know if they're going to take it back, or how they're going to take it back but that is a GOOD
chunk of change and I am slightly freaking out.
Yup.
That's all I have to say today.
I'm tempted to turn off comments on this post because really I just needed to ramble and get it out.
I'm not asking for pity or anything like that.
I truly just needed to clear my head a bit and sort of vent
without yelling at David for stuff that is not really either of our faults.


But if you do want to help,
please feel free to send me a bag of musketeer bars or
snickers to drown my sorrows in.
If you send me milky ways or butterfingers, I will probably leave you anonymous
hate mail telling you that milky ways are of the devil
and that's the meanest I could ever really get.
Or feel free to
shop my closet.
or become one of my sponsors?!



NaBloPoMo 
November 2012


This Month's Bittles Bottom B!

11 comments:

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot said...

We are in this same boat right now. Especially with me not working. We planned on me having a job in Germany but EVERYONE speaks German and wont hire english speakers. So I am desperately trying to get as many blog designs/sponsors as possible. and signing up for paid posts and whatever I can find! Hang in there love, it will get better!

Jamie said...

Hang in there. Unfortunately, they most likely will take that money back but hopefully they'll do it in smaller payments. Try to enjoy your weekend.

Kristin said...

Such is life in the military, right? When Scott first went to OBC, our pay was SO screwed up. We always had enough, but with student loans and all that, it took a year, plus me getting a job, for us to start making forward progress. I really hope this works out for your family...sooner, rather than later.

wendipooh13 said...

I have to say $$ problems are the worst!!!!!! I hate it, it's stress all the time. We are kinda in the same boat, just moved from out of state a year ago so hubby didn't have to leave the family and work out of state, but it's sooo expensive here, everytime I think we get ahead, we don't something happens... ahhh, if $$ only grew on trees right?? I wish!!! the sticking to a meal plan is helping us out too.

Danielle Leal said...

Oh my dear. I wish i could help, but we are in need of money too. We moved out to Utah for a better life 2 months ago and are still living with my hubs' sister and family. There are 9 of us in a 2 bedroom apartment. We finally got an apartment but since we sold everything in ohio we have to get everything for the place. It just keeps adding up.
At least we aren't alone in this struggle, right?
Sending hugs your way.

Danielle Leal said...

Oh my dear. I wish i could help, but we are in need of money too. We moved out to Utah for a better life 2 months ago and are still living with my hubs' sister and family. There are 9 of us in a 2 bedroom apartment. We finally got an apartment but since we sold everything in ohio we have to get everything for the place. It just keeps adding up.
At least we aren't alone in this struggle, right?
Sending hugs your way.

Angie Bailey said...

Oh lovely lady, don't turn off comments, trust me. :) They do help. Luckily Jen and I don't have kids right now (we don't really want children at the moment, and we don't have the moolah at the moment either) and we're living with family (who are crazy and not in the good way, and do make us pay rent... so it's a good, and also a bad.)

Jen's on disability, and I am waiting to hear back from mine, which for me is so stressful - will they realize I need the disability, or will they deny me?! I hate waiting. I could hear anytime between now (that was in October) and December. Fun!

With Jen's money we receive $465 a month and $310 about in food stamp money. It's tight, but doable and we're SO thankful for the money we receive.

I know Jen really truly is down about not being able to work, and I wish she didn't have to deal with disability simply because I hate seeing her depressed, or with high anxiety - I wish I could instantly cure mental illness in our little family, for her and myself and even those who don't realize they even have a mental illness (but everyone else does - they choose not to believe they do.)

Luckily for us, Jen and I are an amazing team, so we work on our budget together - with Jen being better with money than I am - and have a good plan. November's been a blessing, as we received a $40 credit on our phone bill, so that was $40 extra this month! Lovely. :D

I promise, everything will work out for y'all - everything has a way of working out. You have your little family and y'all seem healthy, and happy, and that is what matters. *big hug* If you ever wanna chat, hit me up. :)

Madison said...

Three years ago, I was working part time(only 4-8hrs a week), my husband couldnt find a job going into graduation in April/May, and we were paying for a June wedding that we suddenly couldnt afford. In July, he found a job in a different state. In August we packed up everything and moved. And it took us TWO YEARS to get to a comfortable financial state. A year ago we bought a house, and they messed up our property tax estitmate and guess what? We're broke again. But since we were able to bounce back from the previous broke times, we know we can stick it out and do it again.

Seriously, hang in there. You can make it through this tough time. Even if it means pb&j sandwichs for most meals. Buy rice and beans and produce at international or ethnic markets since they tend to be cheaper. Use rice and beans for every meal, seriously super cheap. Buy food in the bulk area(bulk oatmeal is 25% of the cost of Quaker in my area for example). Ask someone at the grocery store when they mark their meats down every week and buy whatever is marked down.

Your husband is in the military, right? Do they have any assistance programs for families even if it's just temporary?

Kristen @ KV Confessions said...

Girl I have been in that position before - last Christmas actually - and it's the shittiest fucking feeling!! Josh and I don't fight very often but when we do you bet your ass it's about money. It's really hard to avoid because the two of you are both so frustrated and upset, and even though it's not with each other, it's still frustration just waiting to come out. I get accused of being negative or a stress monkey, but just know it's OK to be stressed in a situation like this, how else are you supposed to feel, ya know? All I know is you will be OK - I say eff Christmas presents, dine at family's, and do home made gifts instead. It might be a good opportunity to remind yourselves what the season is all about. Sending you much love and support that you will get through this!

Rachel said...

Oh, that's rough. Money problems really are the worst. Hopefully this season won't last too long. And you're right, it's much better to take out the frustration on your blog than on your husband!

Crownd Vic said...

Oh money is the worst. It can really make a huge difference, either way. I'm happy to have purchased those awesome yellow pants from you!! I hope things look up for you. I bet some consignment/thrifted gifts would still make awesome presents :)