Let's get personal.

Ok guys....

I think it's high time we get personal.

I'm about to fill you in on some details so don't go getting all stalkerish on me, K?! Thanks.

My name is Amber.

I'm almost 27.

Hubs is David. He is almost 27.

He's quite handsome.

Our babies:

Handsome man:Finley. We call him Fin. I actually do call him "handsome man" daily. He's almost 5.

Baby lady: Madelyn. We call her Maddie. And we both call her "baby lady".  She's almost 4.

Baby O: He's Owen. I call him Ollie Pollie. Or just Pollie.  Because well, he's round like a rollie pollie. He's almost 5 months.

Roscoe and Bella are the cats. 

Roscoe P Cole Train to be specific.

And Bella was not named after Twilight.

Bo is the newest addition. He's an American Bulldog. 

We're both from Tennessee.  I'm from West, he's from Middle.

We met when I was 13, he was 14.

We met at Vacation Bible School at my Uncle John's church.

We pen-paled it from there.

His sister actually refused to let either of us leave until he asked for my number.

He's in the Army.

I'm a stay at home mom.

We're currently stationed at Ft Wainwright, Alaska.

He's been here since 2008, deployed twice.

The kids & I got up here after the first deployment in 2009.

We PCS (move) to Ft Benning, Georgia in August.

Before Alaska we were stationed at Ft Knox, Kentucky.

I have two younger sisters and a little brother.

Growing up it was mostly just mom and us.

We liked it that way.

Hubs has a younger sister.

They don't talk.

They just really don't have much in common.

We both have tattoos.

I have gauged ears and my septum pierced.

I once had an anchor. It fell out. I was kind of sad.

That's kind of all I've got for now.

The “joys” of pregnancy.

*Warning*If you don’t care to read about peeing on yourself, your vagina falling off, boobs leaking or other not so attractive things, you should stop reading right now.

If you read my blog or follow me anywhere, you know that I am pregnant.
Like very very pregnant.

A while back I posted a tweet about sneezing so hard but NOT peeing on myself only to get one back about someone being not so lucky.
That turned into a conversation about the shit people don’t tell you while you’re growing a baby.
So I’m going to fill you in on a bit of that.
This is my third pregnancy, I think I’m pretty well experienced in this department now and fully capable of filling you guys in.

So I’m sitting here last night watching Gossip Girl and I pause it to get up and get my 29382348902834th glass of water (because at this point it is nearly impossible to stay hydrated, I’m sweating my ass off. -Even though I live in Alaska and it’s WINTER and all our snow melted today, so bipolar much, Alaska?!) and in my efforts to get off the couch, I laughed and thought “now would be the perfect time to write the blog about the JOYS of pregnancy”. So I grabbed my water and a milky way mini or 7.
Here goes:
I am 35 weeks pregnant with baby #3.
And I swear the more babies you have, the more pregnant you feel sooner.
With my 1st I don’t even remember being miserable.
With my 2nd I was probably 7/8 months pregnant when I called my mommydearest into the bathroom to have her look at my overly swollen lady parts and tell me it was normal.
Now with baby O, I swear by like month 4 or 5 I felt like this baby was just going to fall out of me. FALL OUT OF ME!

Nobody warns you that you will have random boob leakage in the middle of cooking dinner and be all like “What the eff was that shit?!”

Nobody warns you that you will need a crane to help you roll over in bed.  No joke, I swear half of my tossing and turning and trying to sleep at night is because by the time I finally get rolled over, I’m like wide awake.

Hormones make you crazy. I literally ask AT LEAST once a week, “am I just being hormonal or is this justified bitchiness” and usually the people I ask agree that they’re mad/annoyed by it too and it’s not just hormones so that’s reassuring. (Or they just don’t want to be on the receiving end of the hormones, who knows.)
You’ll feel overwhelmed, you’ll have mini freak outs about dirt poisoning, you’ll cry at dumb commercials, you’ll be mad for no reason, then you’ll randomly laugh at yourself while crying for not knowing why you’re laughing or crying.

You’ll have days that you do nothing but sit your bum on your couch and beg to not move and you’ll have days that you cook three meals, clean house top to bottom, run a million errands and manage to play 3 games of hide & seek and paint/color with your other kids.

Your hair and nails will either become amazingly beautiful or look like complete shit.
You’ll grow hair in weird places that people will tell you to ignore because it will go away. (and it will, but still!)
Your baby WILL use your bladder as a trampoline and will kick the living daylights out of you.

You will be jealous of other pregnant people that clearly look better than you (even though they really probably don’t) and you will slightly feel better when you hear/read about them them being pretty uncomfortable.

You will probably cry when someone tells you how cute you look.

You will get annoyed when people tell you how tiny you still are-even if you are really pretty tiny.

You will get annoyed with all the “you’re not due til when?! Girl, you look like you’re about to pop!”

You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to yell at random strangers, “HAVE YOU EVER GROWN A  BABY!?!? EACH PREGNANCY IS DIFFERENT AND YOU WILL GET HUGE BECAUSE YOU ARE GROWING A HUMAN!! SO PLEASE, SHUT UP!!!”

You will become very very grateful for the people that ASK to rub your belly.
People, ALWAYS ASK!!!!!! ALWAYS!
You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to slap some stranger’s face hand.

People will argue with you left and right about how you’re carrying a girl after they’ve already asked if you know the sex and you’ve said, “yes. it’s a BOY”.  <—this one happens often.

And once baby gets here, people will mistake your little girl wrapped all in pink and purple with a big giant flower on her head for a boy.
And people will mistake your covered in blue little boy for a little girl. <—Just smile and nod.

Oh and gas….. you won’t be able to control it.  You just don’t.
I’m drinking water the other day and driving down the road and burping like crazy.  Can’t help it.
My handsome man is always like, “Mom! Say excuse me!”  (Ha! I’ve raised him well)

You will have people that treat you like you’re the most fragile thing in the world and you’ll have days that you appreciate it and you’ll have days that you want to say, “I’m pregnant. Not Porcelain”

You will lay in bed at night debating on whether or not you want to get up to pee. You know that you’ll feel a million times better if you just go pee, but it’s so hard to get out of bed….

To list a few other things you’ll deal with:
Constipation,
begging for some constipation,
peeing peeing and more peeing,
weird skin discoloration,
Shopping for baby stuff—seriously, so many different brands/types/colors/etc, etc, etc
questions and negative comments, whether you’re formula feeding or breastfeeding, cloth diapering or using disposable, vaccinating or not, cosleeping or not, you’ll have someone disagree with you for something.
And you will get the most unwanted advice from complete strangers that don’t even have children. And people will tell you to nap when the baby naps—psht. like that really happens! Then NOTHING would ever get done and you’d never even sneak in a shower.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being pregnant. It is the most amazing thing in the entire world and such a blessing but I wanted to clear up a few things and warn some of you of the not so joyous side of it too. *Side note*: I only ate 6 of those milky way minis. 

if you wanna be my bff...

I saw this post and this one over on Little Miss Momma's blog and thought it sounded fun, so I'm gonna do up my BFF list and share with y'all. 

But first, let me just say.... HOW STINKIN' CUTE IS SHE?!?!

Ok.... so if YOU wanna be MY BFF, there are some things you should know first.

I am a mom... first. My kids will always come first.

I mean, how can they not.... just look how stinkin' cute they are!!

I just love kissing their little boo boos and having that mom power that makes everything all better.

Anyway.... next: I am a COFFEEaholic. Like SERIOUSLY.

Hi. My name is Amber and I am an addict.

I eat my reese's cups FROZEN.  They are WAY better this way.

I am one of those parents that open snacks in the store to give to their kids.

I also often talk and make funny faces at other people's kids. (You'd be surprised by how many parents give me EVIL looks for that-wtf right?! I'm clearly not a creep. I have two kids with me and i'm making goofy faces at my kids too... people today.  *tsk tsk*)

I HATE cleaning. Like seriously.... it's never ending. I would so hire somebody if I could.

I have tattoos and piercings and want TONS more.

Not to THIS extent....

(cuz that's just plain CREEPY)But something more like this.....

(her name is megan massacre. --Click for more pics)

I am addicted to oversized sunglasses.

I love pretty clothes and accessories but usually just lounge in jammies or jeans and my fav tshirts.

I like simplicity. Our house is decorated but it's nothing super fancy and we like it that way.

I come from the south-no matter where I live, I'll have an accent and I'll always rock that southern girl charm.

I'm a wanna be crafter--currently without the time to attempt hardcore things, but I did make this little tote bag for my baby girl.... not too horrible but definitely has it's flaws. She likes it, that's all that matters.

I'd much rather do dinner and a movie instead of bars and parties.

I absolutely hate folding and putting away laundry.

I kind of hate crayons.... ok well, I hate the wall art that my kids think is cute.

Magic erasers--God's gift to moms!!