April 11, 2020

Can we talk for a sec?

You guys. It's seriously time to stop.Just stop.
Two different sites (one good, one bad-both "anonymous") have popped up and after some browsing, I realized they kind of began because of all of the negativity in blogland.
You people do realize that it's a BLOG right? It's the internet and you still have real lives outside of it right?! Don't get me wrong, my blog is like a child to me. I love it, I do but it's more of a hobby than anything. I've met some AMAZING people through blogging and I'm beyond grateful that I know them but my life does NOT revolve around a blog.

I mean it's gotten to the point that I'm hesitant to even tweet someone for fear of getting jumped by someone else for being "friends" with the first and vice versa. Do you get how ridiculous that is?! I truly just don't even want to put myself out there or try to interact with people because I don't want someone to post screen shots of me saying "Hi" to someone. RIDICULOUS!

I've avoided reading a lot of blogs because I just don't want to after reading some mean tweet they wrote. I've stepped back from twitter because every time I have a few seconds to spare lately it seems that twitter is just full of negatives whining and complaining about themselves or how someone was mean to them.

How you handle a situation only defines YOU. When I read how you're handling it, I don't think "oh I totally agree. That bia******* be cray cray". I think "dude. you should've just kept your mouth zipped. Be the bigger person"

Step into the real world and remember that there is life outside of your internet friends. Trust me when I say that there are BIGGER and MORE IMPORTANT things going on outside of the internet and outside of blog drama.

Do you know how many times I've been screwed over in blog land? A bunch.
I've been accused of stalking, I've been trash talked on twitter/instagram and a blog from trying to do something nice.
I've been the winner of giveaways and never gotten the prize(s).
I've bought ad space that's been a waste of money.
I've won ad space that's been a waste of my time.
I've gotten mean comments.
It happens.

But do you see me calling them out?!

I halfway called ONE girl out and to this day I regret it. It had been talked about in emails but then in a random bit of anger, I listened to twitter and called her out. I still feel bad for that.... what she did was wrong (and I still never got that money back) but what I did was low and I am better than that.

You should be too. Be better than that, be the better person. Just sit back and shut up.
Sure watch the drama unfold if you have the time but as for me, I don't. I have three kids, a husband, two dogs, two cats, a mess with the IRS and all kinds of in real life drama that I don't need or have the time to get caught up in the drama of bloggers that I know/follow.

Trust me, I get how hard it is to not defend yourself but by doing so, it only makes it worse. It only adds fuel to the fire and gets more people involved. Do you honestly think that in a month this is going to matter? Is this really going to be a defining moment in your life?! I highly doubt it and if so, I'm sorry because that means your life is kind of sad if a blog feud becomes a highlight of it.

I was hesitant to even post this because so many people have already talked about this. But I'm trying to talk about ALL of it. Not just the past few days, ALL of it.  And I truly hope this will end up being an eye opener for someone. (probably not but eh, I tried)

Do you guys not realize that not only is this the internet and you have a real life, but what you post on the internet is seen by more people than just those involved!
That clothing company you wanted to work with--they probably saw it.
That blogger that thought about sponsoring you--they probably changed their mind with a quickness.
The blogger that is currently sponsoring you and holding her head in shame because it looks like she's associated with that mess. -She won't be back.

And then to post stuff and delete it a bit later?! Good job deleting in, but how about NOT posting it to begin with! Don't post stuff like that. Don't post screenshots, don't call people out, don't post a post knowing that you'll probably delete it later. You are grown women. I know that when you get a bunch of women together it's bound to happen but geez! It seems like that's ALL that's been going on lately.
Blissdom, twitterama, Blogging vs highschool--I've read a million of them. They all make great points but overall I just sat here like, "why? what's the point of posting that"
But here I am posting kind of the same thing.

I want to follow you because I like you. I like your blog. I like your blog voice but man, after this mess I just wanna step away from a good good amount of people in the blogging world and call it a day.

There's no real reason for this post, everything I just said has been said time and time again but this served as a nice reminder to myself that there is a bigger picture than just blogland and social media.
Take a break and go out with in real life friends, reconnect with someone, call your grandparents,  remember why you started blogging, why you love blogging...

Blog to blog, guys. In the end all this really won't make a difference. Get over it, move on, let go, bite your tongue, be the bigger person.

*this post brought to you by a high range of emotions thanks to shark week and family issues and just being sick and tired of grown women acting like children*


Kim Orpin said...

Yes yes YES! I am completely on board with everything in this post. It's terrible when you feel worried about even commenting on a blog you agree with because you're scared of who might be reading. I just think people get caught up in the moment and forget that you can never truly take back anything said online. It's such a shame

Melissa said...

I agree with everything you said here! I actually ended up unfollowing people and decided not to sponsor some blogs.

Also, just because you delete something, doesn't mean no one saw it. Once you post something on the internet, it's out there.

Lin said...

Preach it!

I've said it before & I'll say it again, this isn't high school so cut with the teenage crap. We're grown women, most of us in our mid 20s - 30s and we should know better. It's tough to keep your mouth shut but sometimes it's what's best to stop the stupidity from spreading.

The internet is full of a wide range of opinions so learn to deal with it or walk away.

Lin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ashley said...

it blows my mind every time I see all the negative. Blogging is about supporting other women not breaking them down, its sad!

Samantha Curtis said...

I agree; I'm afraid to say or do things for fear of getting ganged up on. Wish it would all end!

Michael said...

Wait... it's Shark Week?!?!

Melanie said...

I love this a lot. And now I want to follow your blog! Done.

Kayla Nelms said...

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! We each have a blog for OURSELVES. And it's OUR choice to say/do what we want on it. I have in the last month really started unfollowing a lot of blogs I used to read daily. Their attitudes and actions just didn't fit in MY life and I'm sticking with those I do enjoy!

Wish more people felt like you do!

Tabi Deneweth said...

I honestly have no clue what it is you're specifically talking about, but: RIGHT ON!

Keep 'em straight Amber! ;)

Allyssa said...

I agree with you 100%. On everything. When I see people calling out other people, I judge them, not the people they are calling out.

As for tweeting someone and being called out for being friends with them, maybe it's for the best. They're showing their true colors. A real friend wouldn't call you out for interacting with "the enemy."

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

I find this stuff so lame, and I rarely pay attention to it, read about it, or comment on it. Weird. Get a life, everyone.

Erin K said...

Good for you! I have no idea what you're talking about either, but I agree. Be the bigger person.

Kenya said...

Very well said!!!!! It is so true, I don't understand how people think calling people out and bashing them on twitter is going to boost their image and blog/business. I think the same way, if you are going to be so unprofessional like that, then I will never have part of your projects/business/sponsorship's because as you said, no one wants to associate with a mean person aka cyber bully. Words hurts and it's sad that all of us as outsiders had to see that.

Jenn said...

I'm all for defending yourself but if you don't do it in an adult manner, I'm out. I have been reading up on current drama (I admittedly read GOMI) and because of how some people have reacted to said drama, I will never follow them. I think drama is good in the blog world a bit. It lets me know who people REALLY are by how they react to things. It's annoying to see but for me, it let's me weed out the bad apples :)

CeCe said...

I totally agree! What is going on?? I haven't seen too much of it but enough to know that it's just no good. I have won a prize and not gotten it. I mentioned it in a blog post. We gotta get our whine on right? But calling people out is a no no for me. It's so much better to just be the bigger person and rise above all of it.

Angi said...

Agreed. I don't quite understand why there needs to be so much drama. This isn't high school. Hate a blog? DON'T READ IT. I assume nobody is holding a gun to anyone's head and making them read blogs they hate. It's called the little red X at the top right of the window...click it if you don't like what you see.


Breanna said...

I couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you, Amber :)

wendipooh13 said...

sooo true!!! crazy how people, say things that hurt or are unnecessary, or slack on blog commitments!!! no time for that kind of drama from others forsure. I've had to unsubscribe from blogs cuz of how people act it's crazy

Jamie said...


Meg O. said...

Love this post! Wonderful. This stuff just nauseates me.

Kristine -Heart Shaped Sweat said...

Definitely alot of passion in this post and that's a good thing! Our blogs are our little babies and we want to defend them when in question but our name, our reputation and any future endeavors are so much more important. There's always, always a high road to take when faced with negativity. You break it down well :) good for you for sharing your point of view and values!!

Holly Higgins said...

The fact that people post things with no regard as to who may read it drives me crazy. To me it's common sense. Yes, it's your blog but watch what you say because you never know...How many times has someone not only lost friends over things they said on a blog, but caused rifts in their family or even lost a job. Duh!

Rima said...

A to the Men.

I was reading about the "drama" on twitter while waiting in line at disneyland for a ride. I was there with another blogger friend and all we did was laugh.

Like seriously? Life is way more beyond blogland/internet.

Jessica Eustace said...

Couldn't agree more! The drama that has been going on is nuts and uncalled for. I have heard of the new "blogs" that we were set up for bashing but haven't come across it. I will not support a blogger that acts like some of the ones I have seen.

Jennifer said...

I read this on my phone last night, but had to come back and say I'm so glad you put this out there! The drama is starting to be too much! I'm glad that there are bloggers like you (and me, just haven't posted about it lol)that are willing to put their foot down and say enough is enough!

Treasure Tromp said...

love this. but I admit, I sit back, watch, and think "all you b's are cray cray", ;)

Madison said...

I totally have no idea what sparked this kind of post, but still! You speak the truth.

There was a blogger I followed that was really cool. Then she said some really awful things, tons of people were offended and called her out on it, she deleted the comments, then hid the post, put the post back up, then said she was sorry we all got offended. She wasn't actually sorry for saying the awful things, just that we got offended. I immediately stopped following her. And to think I was thinking of sponsoring her. Yuck.

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