June 17, 2020

When you see that plus sign....

More likely than not, a plus sign makes you pretty freakin' happy to see.
But what most people don't take into account when they get pregnant is the future.

I know that I sure didn't.

As far as I thought was pregnancy and then a baby.....

I never even thought about when that baby starts growing up.

Potty training:
Our experience here wasn't terrible (so far). There was one night that Maddie experienced a bit of constipation. I mean bad bad bad. I finally went out and bought some children's laxative to help her out. Ended up giving her a tad too much. Woke up a t 3am to poor Maddie SCREAMING, covered in poop (I was VERY pregnant with Owen at the time) and freaking out because she couldn't stop. We managed to run down the hallway stripping (and still pooping all over the carpet) to the bathroom where she cried and finished up.  I then popped her in the tub and began cleaning up the trail.... it was lovely. I get a little sick to my stomach just thinking about that night.

When we first moved out of our Alaska house and onto the on post house, we had to pay to replace the carpets from Fin's potty training accident. Even though I cleaned them up better than ever, it still did damage to the padding under the carpet.

Talks:Fin has asked us about God/Heaven.
Asked about death.
We've answered so so many questions that we just never really thought twice about until our children ask/wonder.

Teach them to your child at a young age.
Ours say "ma'am" and "sir", "please" and "thank you" etc etc.
How to act in public. How to act at home. Etc etc.

But it goes a bit farther than that.
One day you'll have to explain to your child that he doesn't just enter someone's house without someone saying it's okay.

The other day Fin was hanging out with his little friend that lives a few houses down and he just followed her in her house without even asking me or her parents. I hung my head in shame but realized we'd never taught him otherwise because we'd never had that issue come up.

And then one day you wake up and realize that everything you taught your child goes out the window when he makes a friend whose parents raise him/her completely different.

David and I do not think that Fin is old enough to play outside without us. (Back yard, yes. Front yard-road, neighbors, etc-No!)
His little friend apparently is old enough to do so.
The past four days in a row she's knocked on our doorbell to see if Fin can play.
One night at 8pm. Fin was already in bed.
She's the same age as him and rides her bike all around, back and forth across the street, etc etc.
I know of her mother- I'd see her outside picking up her child when I'd pick up Fin from school but that's it.
The other day we told Fin he could go to the park with her. Two houses down, we can see it from our backyard.  It started raining before they left our house so that was cancelled. Well the next day our doorbell dings, Fin goes out to talk to her and I tell him I'll be right there. I shut the door to grab my shoes and open it to find that they're gone.
Not a happy momma here....
I walk out onto the sidewalk, look around for them.
Then her mother yells (from four houses down) "they're at the spinny park"--the one two houses down that we told him the other day he could go to.

So then we had to sit him down and explain that it was not okay to just leave without asking us.

Then we walked him (and her) to her house to ask her parents if she could play in our house.
Fin just followed her in like it was no big thing. *hangs head in shame*

Her dad says no but her mother had already said yes. The dad then goes in to talk to the mom. I'm standing across the street with Maddie and I don't know if he just doesn't realize that I'm Fin's mom or what but neither of them say anything to me.
I have no idea their names, if they really said she could play in our house or not.
She was here for about 15 minutes before I sent her home because dinner was done.
But not without all the "can she stay for dinner", "Can she stay the night" questions.

During dinner we had to explain to Fin that he HAD to pay attention, look both ways before crossing streets and not just cross because his friend did..... that it's not really okay to just walk into someones house. Had to explain that he ALWAYS has to let us know where he is going even if he's at her house and they decide to go to the park. ALWAYS has to ask us, etc etc.

David and I disagree on quite a few things when it comes to the way we're raising them.
It's rough at times, we talk through it, compromise, etc etc.
We never thought to discuss how we'd raise our kids before we had kids.

Just like we never thought that it was time to teach Fin about playing outside without us. (neither of us think he's ready for that by they way. Fin's attention span is way too short for that)

But my point is, that plus sign means more than just being pregnant and having a baby.
It means, diapers, dances, driving, dates, death, etc etc.

So all my preggo friends: think about this. Have a plan so that when your kid's friend from school comes knocking on the door asking if he can come play when they're both 5 years old, you'll know how to handle it.

I'm planning on going and introducing myself to her parents before they even think about hanging out again. I wouldn't be comfortable with my kids playing at someone else's house if I didn't even know their dang names.  *sigh*


Jo said...

Parenting not as easy as 123! But so worth it.

Hailey said...

This sounds exactly like what we are dealing with here! Our neighbor is taking care of her grandson, shows no real interest in when hes outside, I don't even know if she realizes he is over here 1/2 the time he is. He rings the doorbell at the worst times, lunch (12:00) or nap (1:30) and lately it's been dinner (6:00) or even 8:00! We are getting ready for bed then! In my opinion just because it's summer does not mean my 5 and 2 yr old are going to stay up until 10:00!! I have heard him outside 3 of the last 5 nights after 9:30. We have a routine here and my kids play together really well. Not all the time, but for the most part they don't need any outside entertainment. She feels differently and sends him over 2-3 times a week usually. I know now to go ahead and tell him well you can play for a little while but we are having lunch/dinner/nap/leaving in 45 min. I always send him home within an hour of playing because he is rougher and teaching my 2 yr old boy bad habits that arent' allowed here. My daughter starts getting frustrated with him too.
Oh did I mention my kids don't like getting sweaty outside? :) They play outside in the morning when it's cool. We have a swingset in the backyard and plenty to do, but I am not standing outside the hottest time of day to watch my 2 yr old play with the neighbor while also not getting something else done inside!
Wow didn't mean for that to be this long, guess I needed to vent a little. We should meet up one day at a Park half way between us!?!?
Hailey | Love, Laughter and Lipstick

honest company said...

My only complaint is that I did not realize that these diaperss did not have the stretch in the waist. Otherwise, exactly what it says it is! Plus, free delivery. I was very happy.

Raising Reagan said...

Brian and I were never having kids ... then we had Reagan. So we never had the "talk" about parenting and how we would raise children.
Needless to say ... it's been tough because we do have different parenting styles. Definitely talking it out is huge! Thankfully we take each other's parenting strides and respect them and we do pretty well but in the beginning it was tough. Great post Amber!

(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo

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